Serena: Portrait of a Serial Killer (a series of e-mails)

My dog is a serial killer. I've tried stopping her in the past, but a third victim was found this morning.

E-mail #1 From Me

-Serena killed another baby bird last night. That is the third baby bird she has killed. They keep building their nests in the trees above our “back yard” space and they fall out of the nests and can’t get out from inside the wall. She was playing with it last night, batting it back and forth and I made her stop. This morning when I watered the plants I found it’s dead little body.

E-mail #2 From Casey

-The bird was sick and injured. Serena was just putting it out of its misery. She was actually being very sweet.

E-mail #3 From Me

-Don’t stand up for her! She’s a serial killer! If you lie in a court of law you are an accessory to murder! I’m going to lose my husband and my daughter all at once! Oh lord! Who will take me in?

E-mail #4 From Casey

-Nobody because you’re a huge nerd!

E-mail #5 From Me

-If Serena kills anymore animals we are going to have to buy this sign for our yard…THAT MONSTER!















As I stated earlier this was the 3 victim in her murdering spree. The first time I caught her playing with a baby bird, she was pawing it with her huge monster paws, and treating it like a simple toy. I moved the bird up to the cement ledge in the hope of saving it's poor little life. Unfortunately it must have fallen back into our yard because I found it lifeless the next day. We had a dog psychic come and visit Serena (this was a funny birthday present for Casey) just a few weeks after this initial attack. The psychic, without knowing anything about this story told us, "Serena thinks it's funny you don't let her hunt. I see her playing with a small animal outside and you taking it away from her." Pretty crazy right? Yeah, this lady was good.

Even though it is a part of who Serena is, I still don't like that fact that she kills other animals. I guess no parent is thrilled to find out their child is a vicious killer. I will support her, but I won't allow her to play with baby birds and I will continue to put them up on the ledge.

Can We Talk...

I saw the Joan Rivers documentary (Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work) this weekend and let me just say that it was hilarious. I remember watching Joan Rivers growing up. Her talk show was one of my favorite things to do in the afternoon after school. Wait, was it on after school, or was during the day and I only got to see it in the summer? Either way, my grandmother and I watched it together whenever we could. Joan Rivers and The Young and the Restless (but that is a different story for another time).

Joan Rivers is described as an Icon, and I could not agree more. The woman is 75 years old and as I sat watching her travel the country and work 2-3 shows a day I was exhausted thinking about it. You put me on that type of work schedule (a 29 year old) and I would pass out on you. It was amazing to me to see the dedication to her craft. It is very disheartening to me that someone who works as hard as she does, is still considered a bit of a joke in the entertainment industry. I hope that this documentary will make people view her in a whole new light. Maybe critics should watch what she has to offer with their grandmothers. Perhaps they'd form a bond?

slooooooowwwwwwww summer.

Summer has been so slow. I have only done two simple summer things to date.

#1 Bonfire. Roasted hot dogs. Made smores. Had fun.
#2 Swimming. Indoors? Is that summer-y?

Our pool has yet to open. I have no idea why. We are in a HOA and pay over $3000 (as a building, not myself, oh I'd pissed) to run a pool for 3 months. It is now July and NO pool. Sad.

I do have some fun summer plans coming, a trip to St. George, Lady GaGa in August, a few parties. It just feels like it has taken forever to get here. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am working at my old job this summer. Becoming a teacher was the WORST decision of all time when it comes to comparing these two jobs. I was perfectly content being miserable before I saw the light of teaching. Now that I have been educated on the job that I truly love doing, being back to my old position makes me want to scratch my eyes out. Honestly. It is the worst hell I can imagine. The money's good though.

I just need more pool time, fireworks, some Lagoon or State Fair or other type of environment that displays people with too much confidence rocking mullets and tank tops that expose nipples, before I really feel like summer has begun.

Thank goodness this weekend is the Arts Festival. Perhaps I will catch a glimpse of the Summertime I am in need of there?

Bring it.

The greatest thing I've ever heard (recently)...

"Going to church makes you a Christian, about as much as going to a garage makes you a car." -Dan Savage's Mom

Loss

Recently I've been thinking about nature of loss, and how we all want to deny to ourselves that it will ever happen to us. We want to believe that every love is our last love, that our dog will outlive us, that our job will continue to be a perfect fit forever, that our health will continue until we drop dead, which we won't ever do anyway, and that our friends will never move away or betray us or simply grow more distant over the years. Why is it that everything good in life has to come to an end? If you enjoy something, you don't want to see it end, but ultimately it does. A good book, an entertaining film, holidays, vacations, emotions, relationships. It is depressing to look at life as an endless series of loss. I believe this is why people live their lives with a sense of optimism. If not, can you imagine how hard it would be to get through a single day? I have never been a depressive type of person. But thinking about this sense of overwhelming loss in life, I can see why people would get stuck in that dark place. I'm reminded of a quote I read once. "A goodbye isn't painful, unless you are never going to say hello again." This is the perfect reason to live on optimistic life. Sure we suffer loss in life, but think of all the experiences we say hello to? Yes the vacation may come to an end, but there will be new places to explore. Yes we will lose friends along the way, but think of the possibilities of meeting new people who will inspire and change our life. Yes we will lose loved ones, but the human heart and soul are capable of recovering and feeling again. Love and loss go hand in hand, and no matter how much we avoid it, it is a part of the human experience. It makes us who we are, the good and the bad. Loss is the price we pay to experience happiness. Perhaps it is a fair trade?

What's new Seattle?

My school is sending me to Seattle in August for a two day conference on our reading and math programs. Fortunately, I will arrive a day early and will be able to do some sight seeing. Now, I've been to Seattle once, it was about 7 years ago, and I saw the needle, I hit up a few popular bars/clubs, and I walked around the city. It was also a two day trip, so not a lot of time was spent. I'm wondering what I should do this time around? What has changed in the last 7 years? What are "must sees" or "dos" in Seattle? Suggestions please?

Schools Out For Summer...

"No more pencils, no more books, no more student's dirty looks!"

This saying could not have been more true than on my last day of school. I do not know what it was (over stimulation perhaps) but my last day of school was horrific! Here I have spent four months working at changing the behavior and attitudes of my third graders, and on the last day they go and get recess taken away from them. Here's how it happened....

The last day for me was really a "fly by the seat of my pants" situation. We were doing school awards at 10:00, and classroom awards after that. I was told that if parents came to the awards ceremony they were allowed to take their child home right after. The students who stayed usually helped clean up and organize the room with you, it's called busy work, and it is much needed when children are restless. Well, that morning I had a student ask me,

"Mr. C are we going to make yearbooks that we can all sign?"

To me, this was the single greatest idea to EVER come out of a third grader's mouth on the last day of school! I LOVED IT and told the class to start working on their yearbooks. A simple fold of two pieces of paper, two staples, some markers, and voila! A yearbook they could have each student sign. FANTASTIC! I made myself a little year book, sat at the back table, and proceeded to sign each of my remaining student's books. It was great. They loved making them, and loved signing them, and it kept them completely quiet and working busily.

Well, later that afternoon, after our awards, I had one student who was signed out by his mother. However, he was still at the school watching his siblings "graduation" ceremonies. When I ran into his mother in the hallway later that day, she proceeded to hand me her son's yearbook and say,

"Would you open to page two and read please?"

I opened the yearbook and read in giant purple letters..."U SUCK!-Student's Name" (yes, this kid was dumb enough to have signed his hateful message) Needless to say, this parent was very upset. I reassured her that I would solve the problem and that we could make her son a new yearbook if needed.

After I got back to the classroom, pulled the student into the hallway, began having my serious discussion about being remembered as the "mean kid who wrote nasty messages in yearbooks" I discovered that this particular student was not the only child in my classroom writing "U SUCK" in their classmates books. Oh no, there were about 8 of these children running around, spreading their message of "suckiness." Not only did we have to edit (tear out pages) and have children rewrite positive messages, but my student's also had recess privileges taken away. Who loses recess on the last day of school? WHO? They hadn't done anything in four months severe enough to revoke recess, and ended up having it taken away the last day.

It came as no shock to me that on my last day I only received one hug from a student. It was not the greatest way to spend our last day together, but hopefully they learned from the experience.

So yes...my first "sort of year" is over with finally. Although it was a rough start, and bumpy along the way, I do feel like it went well. I have convinced myself that having a class from the start of the year will make all the difference in the world. Hopefully that is true. I had a great bunch of kids this year. It was just a lot of work to take over, and have them get used to my way of doing things. I learned so much from the experience, and I feel like I have really grown as a teacher. I hope that I don't "suck."